


Professions of Unrequited Love

by lovelorn78



Category: Original Work
Genre: Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Sweethearts, Declarations Of Love, F/F, First Kiss, First Love, Friendship/Love, LGBTQ Themes, Lost Love, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:21:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7148468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelorn78/pseuds/lovelorn78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm sitting here in front of my computer screen wondering where I should begin with my story.</p><p> I'm actually getting a little ahead of myself because in reality my thoughts are centered around "Her".</p><p>The raven haired girl who walked into my life changing it completely and forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Professions of Unrequited Love

I'm sitting here in front of my computer screen wondering where I should begin with my story. 

I'm actually getting a little ahead of myself because in reality my thoughts are centered around 

"Her", 

The raven haired girl who walked into my life changing it completely and forever.

Sounds kind of overdramatic doesn't it? 

Like a lifetime movie special .

It's the pitfalls of being a writer!

I could start my story with the usual I was born or I grew up but I prefer to start it when I feel I was truly born, which was when I met her.

It had been an uneventful afternoon when I heard a knock at the door .

My mother was busy creating a meal from some chicken leftovers and asked me to open the door. 

I was hesitant due to my very comfortable reclined position on the couch but I got up and made my way to the door.

Once there I turned the knob and as I was opening the door, my mother spoke. She asked, "who is it?"

To which I replied with one of my trademark smartass remarks, 

"Maybe if you gave me a chance to open the door completely I might get the chance to tell you." 

When I returned my attention to the door and opened it completely it was then I felt it.

A thousand volts of electricity flowing through me all due to her eyes.

GOOD GOD she was beautiful!

her long hair and dark eyes were darker than any night sky I had ever seen. 

Yet, her smile was bright enough to light the whole room!

I couldn't quite understand what I was feeling because I'd never felt it before, so I ignored it.

At that instant my mother stepped into the room drying her hands on a washcloth. 

Then properly introducing me to the girl who would one day become the one who would own my heart. 

At this moment I'd like to thank god for having come from a South American country. 

Coming from a South American country the custom for females is, when greeting someone male or female you are to give the person two quick pecks on the cheek along with a handshake. 

Needless to say I was overjoyed at the thought of it but I still could not figure out for the life of me why the hell I was so excited at the thought of having her give me a peck on the cheek and a handshake .

So once again I ignored the nagging little feeling inside.

Then I felt it once more! The volt of electricity! 

Her lips on my cheek felt so soft and delicate ,her skin smelled like lavender and her hand was also soft and supple. 

I felt a sudden rush of heat go to my face and I swear I could feel my face turning red which in turn made her smile even more.

After that meeting we became friends and inseparable at that, at least during the weekends! 

The thing was her mom lived across town so she could only come over on the weekends and vice versa. 

Days passed, weeks passed,and months slowly turned into years. 

Little by little we got to know each other's life, family, friends and habits. 

I found that our visits on the weekends were about the only thing I looked forward to.

Inexplicably though, the nagging feeling was residing below the surface. 

When I met her I was 12 and she was 11 now I was 14 and she was 13. 

I had slowly but surely become a permanent fixture in her life as she had become in mine.

I still felt this sense of want and need but I didn't realize for what!

I remember the many nights I lay in her bed and she in mine and I would watch her sleeping. 

I'd memorize subconsciously her breathing, her facial expressions, and her peacefulness. 

I'd wonder how one person could be such a walking contradiction. 

She portrayed herself to others as cold, stoic, and selfish yet on the same token she could be kind, supportive and sensitive. 

I came to admire the woman she was. A woman who was smart, beautiful and that did as she pleased with no apologies or regrets. 

Little did I know what I loved about her would drive the stake between us.

Another year had gone by and now I was 15 and she was 14. 

I had grown accustomed to our closeness yet I felt an unspoken need and unknown desire for more.

Just when I had finally succeeded in silencing the nagging voice which had accompanied me all those years after our meeting.

It was she who gave the voice its name .

in a moment that changed the course of my life till this very day.

I still remember like it was yesterday.

It was a Saturday, my mother was working, and her mother was out on a date. 

She had come to spend the weekend at my house as usual. 

We greeted, she came in and we talked for a bit while we sipped on a soft drink.

Then it happened! 

She started to talk about this formal they were going to have at her school.

She was nervous due to the fact she didn't know how to slow dance and she wanted to make a good impression on her date. 

I asked her why she hadn't asked one of her 2 brothers to teach her .

To which she replied with a smile and a cute roll of her eyes that they were even worse dancers than she was & less patient as teachers.

It was then she looked at me shyly and asked me if I could teach her, which in turn made me stutter like crazy. 

I asked her, "why me!"

To which she sincerely replied, 

"I guess it's because I know your patient and won't bitch at me when I step on your toes" 

she continued, 

" The fact is, I'm comfortable with you". 

With those words spoken I felt a bit more at ease;not completely, but I agreed to teach her.

I turned the radio on to an oldies station. 

A song was playing not really slow but I left the station on anyway. thinking it would give me time to go over the basics with her until the next song. 

We assumed dancing position but I kept my body at a distance from hers. when she caught on she joked, 

"Is this how they slow dance in your village?"

To which I replied with a laugh,

"no smart ass, I'm just keeping the proper dancing distance for the lesson."

She then countered quite cleverly with a raise of her eyebrow and a sarcastic comment about wanting the lesson to be on dancing and not on the dynamics of distance.

She then proceeded to pull my body against hers until not even the oxygen in the room or (lack thereof) could come between us! 

A song then started to play and I recognized it as that song, (These Arms of Mine) from Otis Redding.

The only reason I remembered it was because she and I had watched the movie, "Dirty Dancing" together. 

As the song began I was stiff and nervous.

As the song progressed she placed one hand on the back of my neck, her other hand on the side of my waist, and her head on my shoulder facing away from me.

Midway through the song I felt overwhelmed and I abruptly backed away from her but she grabbed my hand and looked in my eyes. 

For a second I felt trapped but I managed to give her some bogus excuse about being a little tired from not having eaten any breakfast .

which was not a complete lie. 

What I failed to mention though, was that it was our bodies touching that was making the pit of my stomach tingle and my body feel engulfed in warmth.

Though hesitantly, she let go of my hand and I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes and tried to block the remnants of light hurting my eyes with my arm.

It was then I felt something on top of me. 

When I opened my eyes there she was sitting in a straddling position on me while looking into my eyes with a look of her own I could not decipher.

I asked her what she was doing but she did not answer. 

She just proceeded to lean into me and kiss me tenderly at first then eagerly and as her kiss ended the cross I would bear made itself known.

The nagging voice was the one in my heart! 

it spoke to me in plain and simple words I could now clearly understand , 

"you stupid bitch, this is what I've been trying to tell you for years!

You're in love with her¨

In the blink of an eye I began to recall the times I had been in her presence.

It was then I realized that every look, every word, every touch ,every laugh, every thought and every tear had led to this moment.

The only person who had failed to see it was me.

There were countless other moments I could relate to you but that would only serve to further open the gaping wound left behind when what we had came to an end. 

Time passed ,a man became a part of her life, she had beautiful children and the distance between us continued to grow into an endless chasm.

She made it quite painfully clear that I had been a mere moment in her life a moment that as quickly as it had come it was now gone.

She will never know how much I grew to love her and still do in some way .

yet i was to blame because I was led astray by my heart which overlooked the fact she was a free spirit. 

As much as a part of me wishes she hadn't been so cold I knew already that that was a part of her. 

When you love someone you love them for their virtues as much as you do for their faults.

one must also know when to let go. At the ripe old age of 24 I have come to that point. 

I have let go but my heart will never forget. 

Inadvertently she helped me to find myself and listen to my voice within and for that I will be forever grateful.

The memories and the brief love she gave me will always have a special place in my overly romantic and LES pervy heart.

A person can spend a lifetime trying to come out to the people they love but they never seem to take the time to come out to the one person they should love above all other, which is themselves .

For ,how can one ever hope to gain acceptance from others when they can't accept themselves!

I learned this lesson the hard way!

I could give you all a haiku about life and love but what I'm going to say is the honest and brutal truth.

LIFE WILL GO ON WITH OR WITHOUT YOU! 

FOLLOW YOUR GUT INSTINCT, LOVE AND LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLEST TILL IT'S ALL SAID AND DONE! 

CARRY IN YOUR HEART THIS ONE TRUTH, 

"YOU ARE NOT EVIL", 

SO LIVE YOUR LIFE AS PROOF OF IT! 

GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES YOUR HEART MAY BREAK BUT ONE DAY IT'LL HAPPEN FOR GOOD & FOR REAL AND YOU'LL BE A BETTER PERSON DESPITE THE OUTCOME.

IN CLOSING: LOVE, LIVE AND DON'T REGRET BECAUSE IN THE END THE MEMORIES AND THE LESSONS ARE ALL YOU TAKE OUT OF IT!

**Author's Note:**

> For you my first love and painful teacher .  
> Wherever you may be I wish you well.


End file.
